T’WAS STACEY’S LAST TIP BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Posted on December 14th, 2018

T’WAS STACEY’S LAST TIP BEFORE CHRISTMAS, WHEN ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE, 

SOME CREATURES WERE STIRRING, MAYBE IT WAS A MOUSE.

THE FRUIT FLY TRAPS WERE SET BY THE FRUIT BOWL WITH CARE,

 IN HOPES THAT FRUIT FLIES SOON WOULD NOT BE THERE.

THE MOUSE BAIT WAS PLACED STRATEGICALLY SO,

 NO MICE A NESTLING WOULD GO,

 AND HEAD BACK OUT INTO THE SNOW.

HOUSEPLANTS GOT ALL SEASONS OIL TREATMENT AND NESTLED INTO BED

WITH NO SCALE OR MEALYBUGS TO DREAD

IN THE CUPBOARD I HEARD A FLITTER FLATTER

AND I WITH MY PANTRY PEST TRAP SPRANG TO THE KITCHEN TO SEE WHAT WAS THE MATTER

WHAT WAS THAT RUSTLING OUT IN THE SNOW

IT WAS THOSE DEER EATING MY ARBORVITAE

THAT’S WHY THEY NEVER GROW!

OUT THE DOOR, I FLEW LIKE A FLASH

TO APPLY MY DEER SCRAM IN A DASH

THE MOON ON THE BREAST OF THE NEW-FALLEN SNOW,

GAVE THE LUSTRE OF TUNNELS FROM MOLES AND VOLES BELOW

WITH A LITTLE RED BAG OF MOLE & VOLE REPELLENT I RAN

TO APPLY THAT MINTY SMELL THAT CRITTERS CAN’T STAND

AND THEN WITH A HAMMERING I HEARD ON THE ROOF,

A WOODPECKER USING HIS BEAK LIKE A TOOTH

TO GET MY REFLECTOR TAPE, I TURNED AROUND

AND UP THE LADDER, I WENT WITH A BOUND

NOW, WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN, THOSE PESKY OLD DEER

“NOW, ELAINE! NOW, SUSY! NOW DANIELA AND JONNA!

ON, DARLENE! ON KIRSTEN! ON, PEGGY AND JILL! ON GINA AND BILL!

TO THE EDGE OF THE GARDEN! TO OVER THE STONE WALL!

NOW DASH AWAY! DASH AWAY! DASH AWAY ALL!

TWAS A GREAT 2018 WITH ALL OF MY FELLOW EMPLOYEES AND VAN WILGEN’S CUSTOMERS

WE CAME UP WITH MANY SOLUTIONS AND DID LOTS OF WORK,

TOOK LOTS OF BUG SAMPLES, AND HOPEFULLY I WAS JUST A NERD AND NOT A JERK

YOU PURCHASED LOTS OF THINGS FROM FERTILIZER, TO PRUNERS, TO MAYBE EVEN A HOSE

WE ARE SO GRATEFUL FOR YOU, HOPEFULLY YOU WILL JOIN US NEXT YEAR TO PICK OUT THAT PERFECT ROSE

NOW I MUST SPRING TO MY LITTLE RED ELEMENT AND TO MY VAN WILGEN’S TEAM GIVE A WHISTLE

AS I DRIVE OUT OF SIGHT THEY ARE ALL SO RELIEVED I DID NOT GIVE THEM A KISS UNDER THE MISTLE (TOE)

BUT THEY HEARD ME EXCLAIM, BECAUSE I AM PRETTY LOUD, AS I DROVE OUT OF SIGHT, 

“MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!”

Thanks a bunch…Stacey