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T’WAS STACEY’S LAST TIP BEFORE CHRISTMAS

Posted on December 22nd, 2019

T’WAS STACEY’S LAST TIP BEFORE CHRISTMAS, WHEN ALL THROUGH THE HOUSE, 

SOME CREATURES WERE STIRRING (MAYBE A MOUSE?)

THE FRUIT FLY TRAPS WERE SET BY THE FRUIT BOWL WITH CARE,

 IN HOPES THAT THE FRUIT FLIES SOON WOULD’NT BE THERE.

THE MOUSE BAIT WAS PLACED, JUST STRATEGICALLY SO,

 TO ENSURE THE MICE NESTING ALL WOULD GO,

 WE WANT THEM ALL TO HEAD BACK OUT INTO THE SNOW!

HOUSEPLANTS WERE ALL NESTLED INTO BED

WITH ALL SEASONS OIL TREATMENT (NO SCALE OR MEALYBUGS TO DREAD!)

WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN, IN THE CUPBOARD I HEAR A FLITTER FLATTER

AND I WITH MY PANTRY PEST TRAP SPRANG TO THE KITCHEN TO SEE WHAT WAS THE MATTER

WHAT WAS THAT RUSTLING OUT IN THE SNOW

IT WAS THOSE DEER EATING MY ARBORVITAE

THAT’S WHY THEY NEVER GROW!

OUT THE DOOR, I FLEW LIKE A FLASH

TO QUICKLY APPLY MY DEER SCRAM IN A DASH

THE MOON ON THE BREAST OF THE NEW-FALLEN SNOW,

GAVE THE LUSTER OF TUNNELS FROM MOLES AND VOLES BELOW

WITH A LITTLE RED BAG OF MOLE & VOLE REPELLENT I RAN

TO APPLY THAT MINTY SMELL THAT CRITTERS CAN’T STAND

AND THEN WITH A HAMMERING I HEARD ON THE ROOF,

A WOODPECKER USING HIS BEAK LIKE A TOOTH

TO GET MY REFLECTOR TAPE, I TURNED AROUND

AND UP THE LADDER, I WENT WITH A BOUND

NOW, WHAT WAS THAT AGAIN, THOSE PESKY OLD DEER

“NOW ELAINE, NOW DARLENE, NOW RYAN, BILL, WILL AND JASON!

TO THE EDGE OF THE GARDEN! TO OVER THE STONE WALL!

NOW DASH AWAY! DASH AWAY! DASH AWAY ALL!

TWAS A GREAT 2019 WITH ALL OF MY FELLOW EMPLOYEES AND CUSTOMERS

WE CAME UP WITH MANY SOLUTIONS AND DID LOTS OF WORK,

TOOK LOTS OF BUG SAMPLES (THEY REALLY ARE SUCK JERKS!)

YOU PICKED UP LOTS, FROM FERTILIZER, TO PRUNERS, TO MAYBE EVEN A HOSE

DON’T FORGET TO PLEASE JOIN US NEXT YEAR (TO PICK OUT THAT PERFECT ROSE)

FOR NOW, I SPRING TO MY LITTLE RED ELEMENT AND TO MY VAN WILGEN’S TEAM GIVE A WHISTLE

AS I DRIVE OUT OF SIGHT, THEY’RE SO RELIEVED THEY DODGED A KISS UNDER THE MISTLE (TOE)

BUT THEY HEARD ME EXCLAIM, AS I DROVE OUT OF SIGHT, 

“MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD-NIGHT!”

Thanks a bunch…Stacey